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Read And When Everyone Is Super, No One Will Be
Me: "Sir, there's a line."
Customer: "I preordered the deluxe edition. I shouldn’t have to wait like the rest of them."
Me: "So did all of them."
Customer: "No, I said the deluxe edition."
They’re Not Always Right, But Sometimes They’ve Done The Research!
Jul. 12th, 2025 05:55 pm![[syndicated profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/feed.png){kind=small}
notalwaysright_feedRead They’re Not Always Right, But Sometimes They’ve Done The Research!
Me: “Hi. I need a fridge, and this is the one I’d like to get.”
Employee: “Why does it have to be that one?”
Read They’re Not Always Right, But Sometimes They’ve Done The Research!
Read When The Tree Brain Outbrains The Brain Brain
I'm restocking produce when a customer comes over to me.
Customer: "I'm looking for the green thing, the… uh…"
Me: "Can you describe it?"
Customer: "Tree brains."
Read Please Sing “On My Own” On Your Own
I'm in a historic downtown theater. We're about halfway through Act I of 'Les Misérables', when a couple in the audience, clearly superfans, start loudly singing along with every number. Off-key, several beats behind, and with full dramatic flair. Nearby patrons are cringing, some shooting them dirty looks.
Read I’ll Have The Mac And Cheese Without The Mac
Customer: "Umm, what's this?"
Me: "Your mac and cheese"
Customer: *Snaps.* This has noodles! I'm allergic to noodles!"
Read How A-Moo-sing
The family is on a little outing. We're walking through a farm, and my five-year-old son spots some cows in the field. Out of nowhere, he asks:
Son: "What do you call a cow with no legs?"
Read How A-Moo-sing
Read Leaving The Kids Home Is Childs Play
I'm at that age where many of my friends have small children. I am in a same-sex relationship with my girlfriend (fourteen years and counting!) and neither of us is interested in children. I, especially don't like kids and try to keep my distance as I find them rather annoying.
Read Nothing Neutral About This Attitude
I'm applying make-up to a customer to demonstrate how to get the best out of a product, when another customer storms up to me holding a foundation bottle. She interrupts me even though I say I am with another customer.
Customer: "This color says ‘medium neutral,’ but it’s way too dark. You people really need to make your labels clearer. I look like I’ve been spray-painted!"
(My father has taken us to his university for a Science event, and there’s a number of stalls showcasing various experiments etc. There’s one where the names of colours are on a board in a different colour, and you have to say the word instead of the colour. I try.) Me: “Brown. Black. Red. Yellow. […]
Read That Is Some Grade A Blame Deflection
"There is a PROBLEM and the parent wants it RESOLVED. IMMEDIATELY."
The child received a B- in the class, and this "is not SUFFICIENT" to get credit at his university, and it is my job to "RECTIFY this."
(I’m helping out with the children’s program at my church. The teacher finished the lesson early and told the kids they could play until their parents picked them up. The kids start making their way to the back of the room where there’s more room to play when a little girl starts crying.) Me: What’s […]
I am at a salon I frequent getting my hair done for a business trip. My hairdresser has multiple clients, so while I’m sitting and letting a treatment work, she’s cutting the hair of another woman. Suddenly, in the middle of paying and preparing to leave, the other woman comes up to my chair with […]